Vachon Imagined

I think, therefore I am.

Perhaps this is the beginning of all philosophy.

Thought leads us toward consciousness.

But consciousness is not thought.

It is the I of direct experience that requires no divided self at all.

Even self-observation contains a problem.

The self must become the observer of itself.

And suddenly there is an I watching an I.

A division has already occurred.

And once the self is divided, something else enters:

punishment.

Guilt.

Fear.

Self-correction.

The endless project of fixing ourselves or becoming “better” when you are already perfect as you are.

We learn to watch ourselves, judge ourselves, educate ourselves, discipline ourselves, and eventually construct an entire identity around the person we believe we are supposed to become.

But whatever is “fixed” at the level of the self returns.

Because it isn’t dead.

The self that needed fixing is still there.

You can leave the relationship.

You can leave the job.

You can leave the country, the church, the institution, the marriage, the classroom.

You can change everything around you.

And still carry yourself with you.

The lesson cannot be learned from the place of self because the place of self is the division itself.

That is what must disappear.

Not you.

The idea of you.

The I that thinks it is separate.

The I that watches itself.

The I that says, I need to become better.

The I that believes someone outside of itself has the authority to tell it what it is.

Education can do this.

Political authority can do this.

Religion can do this.

Culture can do this.

And eventually we begin confusing what we have been taught about ourselves with what we actually are.

But the I AM does not think.

It is.

It does not need to observe itself in order to exist.

It does not need permission.

It does not need punishment.

It does not need correction.

It does not need to become.

It is already here.

And this is what it means to become clarity.

To become the light of God that sees that same light in everything and everyone already walking in it.

We do not need to become something greater than oureslves.

Instead, we must stop dividing ourselves from what we already are.

The I AM does not say,

I think I am.

It simply says:

I am.

Anything added after that becomes identity.

And identity, when believed to be separate, becomes the beginning of everything we spend our lives trying to escape.

Consciousness is not the experience of a self watching itself.

Consciousness is what remains

when there is no one left to watch.