Vachon Imagined

People are raised in violence.

Even in the most “perfect” homes, it happens.

People yell because they are angry.

Children hear it.

They become afraid.

And eventually, that fear can become home.

But violence is not only something we learn from our families.

It lives in the human impulse to dominate, to control, to punish, to destroy.

Anger comes, and we want to give it back.

Violence comes, and we want to return it.

Someone humiliates us, and we want them humiliated.

Someone hurts us, and something inside us says:

Now you should hurt too.

This is human.

And no human being is completely free from it.

We have all wanted, at some point, to make someone feel what they made us feel.

That is where the cycle begins.

Not simply with the person who strikes.

It begins with the moment we decide that because we were harmed, harm must continue through us.

This is not a crusade against people.

It is a crusade toward self-regulation.

Self-discipline.

Children deserve safety.

Adults deserve safety.

But safety cannot come only from controlling what other people do. It must also come from becoming safer within ourselves.

Because when people do not feel safe within themselves, they act out.

They dominate.

They bully.

They threaten.

They punish.

They harm.

And sometimes they call it love.

If he yells at me, at least he gives me attention.

If he hits me, at least I know he cares.

If she curses me out, at least she feels something for me.

Violence can be mistaken for love because attention can feel like love when we have never learned the difference.

Control can feel like protection.

Possession can feel like devotion.

Fear can feel like safety because it is familiar.

But understanding this does not excuse violence.

It reveals it.

And once we see it clearly, we can stop worshiping the impulse to give back what was given to us.

Anger comes.

We don’t have to return it.

Violence comes.

We don’t have to become its messenger.

Hatred comes.

We don’t have to give it a home.

This is where self-control becomes something greater than behavior management.

It becomes freedom.

We stop needing someone else to suffer because we suffered.

We stop needing to dominate because we feel powerless.

We stop needing to destroy because something inside us has been destroyed.

We lay down the armor of pride.

We lay down the need to be right.

And we begin to see what violence actually does.

It teaches fear.

It teaches children that love can hurt.

It teaches adults that control is safety.

It teaches wounded people to wound.

And the cycle continues until someone becomes conscious enough to stop carrying it forward.

We do not stop violence by pretending it isn’t part of human consciousness.

We stop it by refusing to make it our identity.

We create safety where violence once reigned.

We teach ourselves another way.

Not through superiority.

Not through revenge.

Through awareness.

Through self-discipline.

Through the courage to feel anger without becoming it.

Because the goal is not to become a person who never feels the impulse to hurt.

The goal is to become a person who can feel that impulse and choose differently.

And that choice begins within.

We become safe enough within ourselves that we no longer need to make someone else afraid.