Vachon Imagined

I grew up in a world that often told a very simple story: men use women for sex. Everything eventually seemed to come down to that. A man is kind, it is for sex. He whispers wonderful things in her ear, it is for sex. And sometimes that is true.

But there is a deeper truth beneath it.

Men want something. Women want something too.

Human beings reach for one another because we are seeking something. We are seeking love, safety, connection, belonging, and the feeling of being seen. And sometimes, without realizing it, we begin to place those needs onto another person. We begin to ask them to become the answer to something within us.

It is not only men using women, and it is not only women being used by men. It is human beings using one another when we forget that another person cannot complete what we have abandoned within ourselves.

A woman may long for a man to make her feel loved, protected, and cared for. These are deeply human needs. But when those needs become a story that says he must be the prince who saves her, she may eventually discover that she has to become the prince of her own story.

Because sometimes he leaves. Sometimes he fails her. Sometimes the person who appeared gentle and kind becomes someone else when confronted with discomfort, conflict, or the weight of being human.

But this is not a story about men being the problem. It is not a story about women being the problem.

To turn this into a battle between the sexes is to miss the deeper point.

The truth is that we all carry unmet needs. We all have places within us that want to be recognized, acknowledged, and loved. And when those places are ignored, they do not disappear. They call out to us. They ask to be seen.

When we are willing to listen, we begin to see what we have truly been seeking all along.

We want love.
We want connection.
We want the things that make us human.

Not enemies.

Not the protector and the receiver. Not the one who saves and the one who is saved.

But two human beings meeting each other, both offering and receiving, both strong and vulnerable, both learning and unfolding.

One experience.
One world.

A life made possible for our pleasure.
For our evolution.
For our becoming.